If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
