Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
