My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
