Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
