he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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