is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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