I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
