I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
