Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
