I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
