put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
