some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
