is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
