so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
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