when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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