Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
