so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My feet surprised me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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