Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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