I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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