i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
