I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
