lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
NoShamevember. You game?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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