I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
either way he was missing a nipple.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
