All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the day after is always just damage control
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
