Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize