I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
