yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
