I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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