Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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