Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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