I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
