Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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