It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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