It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
