Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
