FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
