I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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