i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
