Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
