If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
