Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
