He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
