You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
