I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
