The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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