idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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