I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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