So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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