Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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