Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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