So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
