i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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