I just made out with a guy for $7.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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