That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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